S: Benjamin Jinks, I have been asked to interview you about our latest adventure, ‘My Hamster Is A Detective’.
B: You know, I’m not such a big fan of that title, Stinky. It should be ‘My Hamster And Me Are Actually Both Detectives’.
S: (sighs) Well, firstly, if you care about grammar, you should say ‘My Hamster And I…’. Secondly, that title of yours wouldn’t even fit on the cover of the book. And, thirdly and most importantly, you could hardly detect your own nose, not even if you were looking in the mirror.
B: (impatiently) Aren’t you going to ask me any questions?
S: Alright – here are two: when are you going to clean out the poo from my cage? And, also, can you get me a piece of carrot?
B: I meant questions about our latest adventure.
S: Oh. Yes. So, how does it feel to be working alongside an absolute genius?
B: (groans) If you mean ‘how does it feel to be part of an incredible crime-fighting duo?’, then it feels great. Terrifying, at times, but really exciting. It’s a bit like being Batman and Robin.
S: I’d be Batman, obviously.
B: Hang on. Batman is the older, bigger one of the duo. And a robin is a cute little thing, like a hamster. So,..
S: Firstly, Batman is the brains of the outfit, so that would have to be me. Furthermore, robins are actually vicious little birds, and not at all cute. However, you have just given me the idea for another question, Ben: if you could have one superpower, what would it be, and why?
B: I’d like to be invisible. It would have come in very handy in this adventure, but it would also be really cool around the house: I’d make Lucy think there was a ghost. It would really freak her out!
S: So, if you had a superpower, you’d mostly use it to tease your little sister?
B: Pretty much.
S: (sighs, annoyed) I have one more question.
S: Can you please leave me in peace, so I can have a nap?